Before I get into this, this is quite a personal thing for me to write about but if you're reading this as sufferer or someone who knows a sufferer I hope this helps you.
Recently, I've not been the best at dealing with things. I often disregard my own feelings until the point that I can't hide it any more and this can be very unhealthy. I often get annoyed and angry with myself for getting frustrated or anxious or stressed and feeling like I can't handle it.
Whether you are a sufferer of anxiety or not, it's likely that at some point in your life, you've also felt like this; like you're losing control and don't know how to get it back, like everything is falling apart and you've got no one to turn to. This post is to tell you that you are not alone.
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and while I don't like to advertise this, I do feel I want to help people, to let people know that if they go through the same things, whether it's a one time event and never happens again or if it's a recurring issue, it's okay and it's not just you.
For those of you who may read this who are unsure of what anxiety, panic attacks and panic disorder is, here is a quick explanation.
Anxiety - a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
Panic attacks - periods of intense fear or apprehension of sudden onset accompanied by at least four bodily or cognitive functions (i.e. heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, or feelings of unreality) and of a variable duration from minutes to hours, however, no one panic attack can last for hours, they will last a maximum of 25 minutes individually, but can reoccur for hours.
Panic Disorder - People who have repeated, persistent attacks or feel severe anxiety about having another attack are said to have panic disorder as opposed to people who have only one occasion of panic attacks. Panic disorder is strikingly different from other types of anxiety disorders in that panic attacks are often sudden and unprovoked. However, panic attacks experienced by those with panic disorder may also be linked to or heightened by certain places or situations, making daily life difficult.
For a more scientific explanation or more information, please
click here.
I suffer with anxiety and panic disorder. I have done for 9 years now (since I was 11). The first one I remember was when I was on a pirate ship ride and I felt like I was going to fall off and be crushed under the wheels, for a few years panicking was just a once in a while thing, it hardly ever happened and I didn't worry about it too much, however, since I was 16 it's gotten a lot worse. I personally think this has something to do with my journey through puberty, they initially started when I started puberty and got a lot worse gradually throughout this process.
In the past few months I have been to see doctors about my panic attacks as they're getting somewhat out of control and not all doctors have been supportive and not all forms of treatment have helped me. If this is the same for you, do not be disheartened, find the right doctor for you and try different treatments, something will work.
Panic attacks are scary, thinking about panic attacks is scary and talking about them is terrifying, especially to a stranger but this is okay! If you're not a sufferer yourself you may not know this but it is incredibly hard to tell someone you care about that you're suffering with this. It takes an immense level of trust.
Whenever I panic, I always feel ridiculous and if I ask someone for help I always feel like I'm keeping them from something or I'm just making their life more difficult even if this is not the truth. If you know someone who panics please stay calm and unless you know exactly what will calm them down, just stay quiet and leave them until it's over, if they need something they will ask. If you are helping someone please be aware of your volume and tone of voice, speak softly, let them know that you're with them.
If you're a sufferer yourself, you're not causing anyone any pain, you won't hurt yourself or anyone else and you're not hassling anyone by asking for their help. Anxiety and panicking can be frustrating but it is in no way your fault!
Anxiety and panic attacks can happen at any time and for any reason or even no reason at all. I've had panic attacks:
At university
At concerts
While shopping
With friends
At home
At airports
On the bus
On the train
In bed
At my boyfriend's house
At parties
At work
At school
At a friend's house
At a family member's house
There was no reason for me to feel like I was in danger in any of these situations but I panicked anyway. And that is okay because it's not my fault. I keep saying this to myself but endless times all I think is "why does this keep happening? Why can't I just be normal?"
What helps me is talking to my boyfriend and my best friend, slow breathing or copying someone's breathing, when either my boyfriend or best friend will hold my hand and tell me I'm okay and I'll be okay, for anyone else I'm with to leave me be until it passes unless I ask them something, to not have people highlight that I'm panicking or trying to distract me by telling me to recite the alphabet backwards or count my 6 times table, for when people do speak to me to speak quietly and calmly, when I panic I'm already hearing things so much louder so if people talk to me at a normal volume it sounds like they're shouting at me which only makes things worse.
Panic attacks and anxiety can make people scared to leave their front door, even at this point, there is still help that you can get and still not have to leave your house until you feel comfortable.
If you do know someone who suffers with panic attacks please try to follow some of these steps.
1. Stay calm
2. Stay quiet, you don't have to be silent but don't try and engage in conversation with the person panicking
3. Don't say "calm down, pull yourself together, man up, what's wrong with you, do this (setting up a test), don't be ridiculous, no we're not leaving, you have to stay, etc"
4. Do say "you can get through this, you'll be okay, I'm here with you, I'll keep you safe, no one is watching you, breathe slow, copy my breathing, tell me what you need, I know you feel scared but I won't let anything happen to you, etc"
5. Remember to be calm and patient and don't expect an answer straight away, all of the energy in the body is being used in different places that it's difficult to talk
6. Remember they don't choose to be this way, don't show any disappointment or annoyance when someone is panicking
7. Don't make assumptions, ask them what they need
8. Be supportive and reassuring. After a panic attack, the person can feel down, exhausted, depressed, angry, silly, insecure and with very low self esteem. Just let them know you are there and help them feel better about themselves.
You are not alone. Although terrifying panic attacks are largely nothing to worry about, you will not hurt anyone by having one including yourself. There are millions of people who suffer with panic attacks just like you and I am one of them. And if you ever need someone to speak to, I will always be ready to listen.
Not all of my posts will be as deep as this one but this is something I wanted to address straight off the bat. Please leave comments below of your experiences, etc, it won't only help me but could help other readers too.
Thank you,
Kelly
x
